Why Arthur Kade Isn’t Getting Laid
It’s no secret, I post comments on Arthur Kade’s blogs. If you don’t know who he is by now, check out his blog http://arthurkade.com/ . He’s been a past guest on my show http://www.richardbrianpenn.com/?s=arthur+kade&paged=2 and is blowing up internationally for writing some of the most ridiculous blogs currently out on the internet. Normally, I would just comment on the particular blog on his site, but I thought my response for this one would be way too long. A light bulb went off in my head. We’ve got an article out of this one.
My Background
As some of you know, I used to work as a professional dating coach until I decided it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. Actually there are a whole lot of reasons I voluntarily “retired” from that business. Maybe I’ll get into that in a future article. Having said that, I think I’m qualified on giving some pointers that might get Kade laid.
So let’s break this down. Arthur’s words are in italics. My response is in bold. You can read his full article here http://arthurkade.com/2009/06/07/the-cock-block/
“My game with girls is so sick, but even I couldn’t get through the situation that I had to deal with last night. I attended an amazing ultra exclusive party at a condo in the most prestigious building in Philly, “The Condos at Two Liberty” where the girl to guy ratio was 5-1. I love that I go to the hottest parties in the city that most normal people will never enjoy, and I ran into fans all night who wanted to meet and talk to me. The condo had a wrap around deck with a full city view, must have been 10,000 square feet, and was the nicest condo I have ever seen in Philly, and I came with 10 girls, and when I walked in I was greeted by people who knew who I was, with the owner saying, “You’re the Philly Mag guy.”
This is the setup for the story. A 5-1 girl to guy ratio is outstanding and pretty much of unheard of in Philadelphia outside of a lesbian bar, a girl scout meeting, a or a OBGYN office. If you’re Arthur Kade, people “knowing who you are” could be either a good thing or bad depending upon whether that person has read his blog. Being known as the “Philly Mag guy” again good or bad thing which mainly would rely on whether someone has read the article. We’ll neutralize the situation about the blog and the article and count them out. The ratio of females to males gives Arthur a 1 point advantage. Score Arthur plus 1.
“I was talking to girls all night, and even ran into someone who was friends with a girl I liked years ago, and told her to reconnect us because she said she was “So Much hotter than when you knew her” ad I thought way until she sees what I look like now. They were filming what looked like a commercial in the condo, and we chilled there before heading over to Public House for some comped bottle service for our gang because of who we are. I then got texted by my other friends that they were at G, so I left and headed over there.”
Talking to girls all night. Score 1 for Arthur. He’s being social and working the room. Minus 1 for having to ask a girl to hook him up with someone from years ago. Arthur should have turned on the charm so the girl he was talking to begged him to reconnect Arthur with the girl “he liked years ago.” Minus 1 again. Comped bottle service at Public House? Never heard of that, but if it’s true – Score 1 for Kade.
“G had a great crowd, and I ran into a group of friends whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, and escorted them back to the Vault to make our own little private party. They were amazed at my pull, and thanked me several times for getting them back. One of the girls in the group was a Philly 9, had a cool accent (Her outfit sucked though, would need to get a makeover done on her), and hot body, so I decided I wanted to have her for some fun. We talked all night, and I could tell by the way she was moving around that she was ultra into me, and she called me “Hot” or “Handsome”, numerous times (She said at Zbar, “You think you can get any girl because you’re really hot” and I answered “Yep”), but I could tell that she was super intimidated by me because of my looks and my stature in the city. It was an easy close for me except, her friend decided to stick around and totally cock-block me the rest of the night. She wouldn’t leave her side, and it was so annoying because I had to buy them both drinks the whole night, where I could have taken the hot girl home for some great sex.”
Leading friends to the vault. Score 1 for being a leader amongst men. “One of the girls in the group was a Philly 9, had a cool accent (Her outfit sucked though, would need to get a makeover done on her), and hot body, so I decided I wanted to have her for some fun.” Minus 1 for talking smack about a girl you want to sleep with. What does this say about you? “We talked all night, and I could tell by the way she was moving around that she was ultra into me, and she called me “Hot” or “Handsome”, numerous times (She said at Zbar, “You think you can get any girl because you’re really hot” Score 1 – believing that she was sincere when she paid you compliments, you were in. “and I answered “Yep”), but I could tell that she was super intimidated by me because of my looks and my stature in the city.” Minus 1 for not paying her a few compliments back. Most women want to hook up with a guy that they believe is either on their level or a slightly higher status level. If this girl is extremely intimidated by you, chances are she’s not going to sleep with you. You’ve made her feel really insecure and uncomfortable about herself. Sometimes you need to get out of your super sized ego (I know the ego is mostly blog fodder) and take a step back. Show some vulnerability if you want to get laid. “It was an easy close for me except, her friend decided to stick around and totally cock-block me the rest of the night. She wouldn’t leave her side, and it was so annoying because I had to buy them both drinks the whole night, where I could have taken the hot girl home for some great sex.” Minus 1 – again, this should have been an easy close, but it sounds like you didn’t build any comfort. In fact it sounds like you became more of a novelty or she used you for sheer entertainment value. Minus 1 again because it doesn’t seem like you tried to befriend her friend. In the case of women, if you don’t befriend the “obstacle” she’s never going to hand you the keys to her friend’s vagina (I wasn’t sure how else to word that). Granted if these women in their mid 30’s – 40’s it wouldn’t have been an issue (I’m guessing they weren’t) because at that age they can’t make up their own minds. I’m going to go out on a limb and estimate that these girls were in their early to mid 20’s. Minus -1 since you bought them drinks all night. Why should they leave your side when you’re providing them entertainment and material/consumable goods? They have nothing on the line. If she the girl was risking something like buying you drinks all night, then chances are she would have taken you home for some mediocre drunken sex. Any woman can get sex, but very few women can find a “chump” who will buy them drinks ALL NIGHT. Minus 1 again because then you could have written a blog about how this girl gave you lousy sex and you could have provided your blog “fans” 5 minutes of entertainment. That should have been motivation enough to write the blog, “Kade ends the Drought with a Philly 9”
“My friends and I always talk about how there are girls that all they do is cock-block on guys like us because they are jealous that they are not getting the attention and will do everything in their power to make our lives suck. They are always miserable, and annoying, and try to act like a good person that is protecting their girlfriend, but the reality is that if they were the ones getting the attention, then they would be the first one to go home with you and screw your brains out. The sad thing is that the hot girl never realizes this dynamic, and will look at this girl as some kind of savior, but all she is doing is expressing her jealousy and not letting the hot girl have some good fun and enjoy life with hot guys like us. It’s even worse when you start dating because the “Cock-Block” will interfere with your life and fuck with your schedule. Every girl group has one of these, and they latch on like a chastity belt that has no key.”
“My friends and I always talk about how there are girls that all they do is cock-block on guys like us…” Minus 1 for talking with your friends about girls cock blocking. That shouldn’t even be an issue in your reality. Befriend the cock-block or move onto other girls. Why are you wasting your time? Why are you and your friends always dealing with cock blocks? I know plenty of “regular guys” that rarely deal with cock blocks. The reason for this is that they don’t deal with cock-blocks. If they can’t befriend them and turn them into their new friends, they shed the group of girls and move on to the next. Life’s too short. This should only be an occasional thing if you’re doing your job correctly.
“because they are jealous that they are not getting the attention and will do everything in their power to make our lives suck. They are always miserable, and annoying, and try to act like a good person that is protecting their girlfriend, but the reality is that if they were the ones getting the attention, then they would be the first one to go home with you and screw your brains out. ” Minus 1 for having a shitty attitude. If your friends are good wingmen they’ll occupy the cock-block/obstacle and make them feel good about themselves. Pick up is partially sales. Think about what they do when you go into a dealership to buy a car. There’s an initial contact on the sales floor and then the general manager comes in as the closer. If a man and wife come in, the salesman’s job is to figure out really quickly who is going to make the decision to buy the car and befriend the “objector.” I hate to compare to women as a car sale, but I’m trying to make this concept easy to understand here. Minus 1 for having lousy friends. If they were great friends, they’d take one for the team. You and your buddies need to work out a system. If the cock-block is getting some ass with one of your friends, she’s a lot more likely to let her friend go home with you.
“The sad thing is that the hot girl never realizes this dynamic, and will look at this girl as some kind of savior, but all she is doing is expressing her jealousy and not letting the hot girl have some good fun and enjoy life with hot guys like us. It’s even worse when you start dating because the “Cock-Block” will interfere with your life and fuck with your schedule. Every girl group has one of these, and they latch on like a chastity belt that has no key.” Minus 1 – again. The “hot girl” realizes that her friend is being a cock-block. Girls don’t want to be perceived as sluts. They just need things to happen. They need to feel like whatever they do, their friends approve. Minus 1 – if you’re actually dating, the “cock-block” usually loses her status on the totem pole. She no longer dictates what the “hot girl” will and won’t do. You need to be a man and grab life by the balls. Most women appreciate a dominate man who will lead, guide, and make them feel safe. If you’re not making them feel secure then the “cock-block” will resurface and will once again begin to dictate what the “hot girl” does with her personal life. Then again, why would you even want to date a girl that’s that insecure that she lets her friends tell her how to live her life?
FINAL TALLY = Too minuses too get laid
Conclusion – Arthur, you did a few things correctly, but you may want to tone down your game. Show some more humility. Rather than blowing hundreds of dollars or even thousands of dollars buying girls drinks in the VIP room, take an actual interest in who they are as a person. Befriend their friends. Bring their friends into your reality. Introduce them to your social circle. Have your buddies take the “cock-block” off your hands. I’m sure you have a few friends that could use some loving.
If you take even half of this advice, you’ll start banging like a champ in no time. Also, try not to talk too much about your blog with them. If they’ve read it; pretty much any self respecting woman is going to stay away from you no matter how attracted or “into” you she is. She’ll fear that she’s going to be the topic of your next blog.
Note – most of my advice regards women who frequent the “club scene” and are generally aged 21-26. This by no means extends to every girl, but this is a generalization from years of experience in the “field” – RBP
I’ve seen Arthur several times at the club. If he would stop rotating the 3 shirts he owns, he might get laid by a dude.
I like what you’re saying there kid!
There is no such thing as a cock-block. They only exist if you let them exist.
I don’t understand the point of this. You’re trying to earnestly evaluate and provide advice based on material that is probably 75% untrue, and pretty incoherently presented. Kade is not actually doing the things he claims he does, and that’s why people hate him. He can’t maintain his lies and is unable to embody the persona he’s trying to perpetuate. If he truly was a good looking wordly (heterosexual) agressive alpha male with killer instincts, he wouldn’t be prancing around in ugly t-shirts asking girls to pose for pictures. Using the camera he carries around in a a nylon backpack. He’d be having sex with women and this latest blog entry would have simply read, “A hot chick’s less attractive friend was trying to cockblock me. She ended up blowing me in the men’s room before I took the hot one back to my friend’s couch and had sex all night long.” Shit like that just does not happen to mealy-mouthed lisping preening guys who are naturally nerdy, polite, and reserved.
And I think you put some of your own comments in italics.
Very entertaining and well-put article and analysis!
.
The biggest shocker for me is that this “ladies man” feels like he had to buy not ONE drink–but MULTIPLE drinks ALL NIGHT in order to try to get laid. He would have been better off hiring an escort. Buying a drink in the club hoping to get booty is akin to buying a black belt and calling yourself a Karate champ. Women will accept your drinks ALL night. But they will NOT respect you for it. And if you happen to bang her, then you would probably have been able to do it without the alcohol. Automatic FAIL.
.
I do not believe he is off base for his distaste for cockblockers. Can’t stand them. My philosophy is, if a girl has a cockblocking friend, then it is actually a poor reflection on BOTH. IMO, the sexiest women are independent in spirit and do not rely on others for direction or approval. Therefore you are likely DEAD ON in your conclusion that these females are in their early to mid 20’s, if not younger. These are the ones who normally need a cockblocker around.
.
The only time cockblockers should be dealt with is precisely as you listed in your example, RBP. When you’re looking to score something that evening (i.e. a Club or on vacation), then your wingmen are supposed to distract the cockblocker–preferably the “scavenger” in the group, whose standards are typically lower. They should be dealt with accordingly…not by filling her stomach with booze. In Cancun 2 years ago, my friend and I lucked up on 3 girls, one of which wasn’t attractive. We found another guy in the club, befriended him and he took one for the team. Other times, I will address a cockblocker squarely by being totally upfront and honest. And I’ll do it in front of both her and the girl I like. It works. It is respected. Case in point, they CAN be handled.
.
You’re precisely right in saying that women need to FEEL justified in sleeping with a guy, which many times includes getting the green light from her friends. As they say, “All women need is an excuse; all men need is a place”.
.
Lastly, his blog and reputation wasn’t the ruin of him. I, for one, was shocked (or not so shocked) to find that females are actually very intrigued with womanizers/players/ladies’ men. After finding out about my books (http://www.MySpaceToMyPlace.com), I find that many women are intrigued, sexually.
.
That said, his evening would have gone much better if he laid back a little more and allowed the women to come to him. The numbers were in already in his favor. He failed again when he bought those two girls drinks and spent time trying to woo friends he hasn’t seen in a while. He should have worked the room more. When you know how to work a room, other ladies notice. It creates competition. And competition ups your stock value. Given his reputation, the females should have LITERALLY fallen into his lap. Sometimes acting ambivalent makes them want you, all the more. Simply put, relax!
.
I have doubts about arriving with 10 women. Did he buy them all drinks too?
I would sit on Artie’s face all night and block his cock so he could get none of this BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! Then we would do the vagina monologues together after he made me cum with his big nose!
Richie Rich!!!! When are you going to start teaching pickup again? It looks like you never lost your game! – Slayer PUA
I’m filming a new movie called A Street Car Named Arthur. Bea Arthur would star as a Philly 9 if she was still alive.
If he were a true celebrity, the club would be comping him drinks all night and chicks would be begging to line up and get into his pants. They would even buy him drinks. LOL
The only cock blockers I have to worry about are ten and eight years old, and if they do it too often I send them to their rooms and tell them to let mommy and daddy have some private time.
Celebs don’t buy girls drinks. Girls buy celebrties drinks. This dude is a a wannabee.
Just a quick FYI: the Vault is open to anyone Mon-Thurs. not too hard to bring your friends back there when the door is wide open. that’s not “pull” dude.