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A few weeks back I posted an article about why I don’t hang out with guys in the pickup community anymore. Read here – http://www.richardbrianpenn.com/?p=962

I received a lot of flak from guys in this “underground” world.  Rather than posting the comments as responses to my blog, I figured I’d address them here. 

The interesting part is that nobody got the part about just being a cool guy and not cock blocking other dudes when you’re no longer getting ass from the girl that you screwed up with.  However, I think what most of the guys who are angry with me felt slapped in the face. Sometimes, the truth hurts.

Here’s the thing and I could be totally wrong. I believe the guys who are angry with what are wrote are the guys not getting laid and are terribly frustrated with women.  They think it’s cool to hang out in packs of guys like rambunctious sled dogs dressed up like court jesters and trying to rub up against every girl in sight like she’s some sort of fire hydrant.  I’m not saying that everyone is like that.  The term pickup artist is terrible to begin with.  Most guys who get laid on a regular basis would never even refer to themselves as that.  They would just say, “Hey, I’m good with women.”

It’s just a really dorky terminology.  I’m guilty though; I used to refer to myself as a PUA.  I’m seriously not trying to cast judgment. I have guys on my show from the “dating world” because I find some of them to be actually interesting human beings.

I was hoping that perhaps, I could possibly help a few people become more self evolved.  However, I realize that you have to want it and not be lectured into changing your lifestyle.  It’s like smoking. You have to have the desire to accomplish these tasks in order to follow through. 

The guys I’ve seen who are the best at “picking up” women are the ones who actually can go out alone and meet them without a bunch of guys leering in the background to give them the self needed validation by cheering them on. Just an observation fellas.

Below I’ll address a few of the comments that I received. My responses are in bold

Comments

“Although I agree with your point about members of the so-called “community.” My point? I brought up several.  I’m going to presume you agree with my generalization of the community.  However, what’s the point of posting this other than to indirectly call fellow Puas losers? I don’t consider myself a PUA and most of the guys who do, really aren’t.  It’s like being in a band and calling yourself a rock star.  Just because you can play an instrument doesn’t make you a master of your instrument. To make yourself feel superior to everyone on the forums? Nope, I’m trying to encourage guys who have spent the past several years trolling the internet in search of guys to go out and help them pickup girls to get a life.   That you’re a rung up on the rest of the community, YET you still flock the forums with random posts in an effort of self-promotion. Can’t have it both ways sir.” – Adam Adam – This is where I agree with you (sort of).  I’m not in the “community.”  I’ve retired from that way of life.  I occasionally will “Flock” to the forums to promote my show or blogs.  Most of the guys that read the forums spend hours a day searching on the internet on how to become good with women rather than leaving their house and going to talk to them.  I figured, if you’re going to waste these precious hours of your life; you might as well stop by and read what I’m writing.  Web hits baby!  By the way, I had my assistant email you confirming your address.  No response.  You’re more than welcome to come on the show and discuss your allegiance to the Pickup community.

This is probably one of the worst posts I have ever read. – solus Thanks man.  What kind of name is solus? Are you an astronomer? A one armed bandit? What is a solus?

I think what you mean is “be yourself”. This is great advice when you’re a PUA, but not so great when you’re an AFC. In summary, none of those suggestions has anything to do with success or failure with women. A completely useless, preachy and annoying post. AFC in the pickup world means, average frustrated chump.  I think you’ll find most guys in the “regular” world get laid far more than in the pickup world.  AFC was a term created to make aspiring pickup artists feel good about themselves.  So you’re another self loathing guy who gets pissy when your life is called out in front of you?

 No… yet another guy who claims he was fucked up by seduction and meeting lots of women. Dude do what you want. We don’t care. What we appreciate here is exchanging opinions and useful knowledge and skills. Nobody cares about personal rants. – Vexxor I must of hit a nerve because you cared enough to respond.  Thanks man!

 And then I did get a nice response –

I think those who hate this message are missing the point.

First of all, it is my experience that most guys who get into pickup are starting out below average in terms of social skills. So the pickup communities I have interacted with live so far have been, frankly, filled with dorks.

I have never become part of a community of instructors so I can’t speak in person but there are certain people whose writing and approach I admire, and I suspect I would want to hang with them in real life.

I think this post is also important because the man thinks like a natural. “Adbundance mentality”, “you have to open your mouth and speak to a woman,” etc. I find myself studying the assumptions behind this post.

I will agree that “be NATURAL” is not a good way to teach men who want more success with women, but perhaps it is a good statement of the goal.

Sometimes I think pickup is mostly about discovering and hammering away at your insecurities, one ingrained fear at a time — and also learning to check your ego and your need for sexual validation, which is really also about insecurities.

So there is actual self-improvement work to be done here which the OP doesn’t get into. However, I suspect I’d be much more likely to want to grab a beer with him than almost anyone else posting on this board.

He seems like an actual human being.

- stray

Well heck, that was the nicest comment I received; so why ruin it by commenting further? Thank you Mr. Stray

 What Did I learn here?

I learned that you can’t market things to the pickup community and shit all over it at the same time.  That was a valuable lesson.  So for that, I thank you.

Love,

RBP

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